Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Who Are We Forgetting With "LGBT"?
I use the term "Gay" a lot, maybe too much. I identify with it as a Gay male, but also am old enough to remember a time when their wasn't a common word yet for many of our LGBT community members.
When "Bras were burning", I realized there were Lesbians not happy under the cover of the umbrella of "Gay". I met my first "Dykes" and my first bit of anti-gay prejudice from my Lesbian sisters.
It took me a while to understand. I was always in the belief that "Gay" united us and didn't want any other terms that might divide our community, as this seemed to be happening.
My favorite blog uses "Queer" in its title. I am not comfortable owning that one full-time for myself, either. Never was a "Twink", a total "Muscle Boi" or "Muscle Bear", not exactly a "Leather Boy" or "Sir" and now I am closing in on "Daddy" when I don't shave, but am too baby faced to be called that for a few more years (I Hope). I think I am a little of everything and like it all (Guess it's my Chicago roots showing).
Over the years, I have had a parade of new identifying terms as my friends began finding a term they identify with. When Obama made this month "LGBT Pride Month", it got me to think about those who might have trouble being left out.
It brings me to another problem. If I add the "I" for Intersexed, "Q" for Queer, "H" & "H" for Heteroflexible and Homoflexible, and FTM & MTF Transgendered physically, but then they each have their sexual preference to take in account, I am into a tounge-twister of a title and it's beginning to look like a secret pass code for my favorite porn website.
A few months ago, I even tried to combine a few, hoping noone would get mad, into an "A LIGHT" RAINBOW. Asexual(A), Lesbian(L), Intersexed(I), Gay(G), Heteroflexible/Homoflexible/Bisexual(H), and Transgendered/MTF/FTM/Gay/Lesbian/Straight/Bisexual combinations (T). I hoped Bisexuals wouldn't mind being consolidated into the fold, or piss off a whole new group, because Bears, Muscle Bears, Otters, Grey Foxes, Cubs, Papis, Daddies, Sirs, Boys, Twinks, Muscle Bois, Queers, Fags, Queens, Dykes, Fems, & Doms. Then let's not get into the preference subtitles tops, bottoms, versatile, versatile-top, versatile-bottom, and flip. I know I have forgotten all the categories of Asexuals and Intersexed individuals but my head is about to explode.
OMG, I would sound like Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins singing our new title if I even tried. Therefore, you are gonna have to bear with me.
I will use "GAY", because I am old and love you all and want to include you all. I also am old enough to remember when people used that to mean "Happy" (Which, I hope we all one day will be). Or, I will make an effort to include you all in a way my tongue, although used to twisting, can handle and use my term "A LIGHT" Rainbow shining on us all (So Gay, I Know).
I can say sorry to the female Bisexuals for regrouping them, or say figuratively to the male ones to, "BITE ME NOW!" (When literally, I wish some would). When all I want to do is have a "GAY OLD BLOG" where I can make you all happy enough, at times, to deal with me when I need to rant, rave, and use your self-owned title in an unflattering way.
Otherwise, BITE ME NOW!
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I think of gay as a group identity. I'm female...and I guess I'm gender variant 'cause I'm sorta androgynous, but I've never really identified as lesbian. I just think of myself as gay. I would happily call everyone gay if it didn't offend them. I know we don't always have the same issues...but what connects us is the issues we have in common. We're all discriminated against for the same reason.
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